writer elise

I'm Elise. I write. Because I must.


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Help For A Friend

Two posts in a week…y’all try not to panic.

This is going to be a short one too.

I want to ask y’all for help. Not for me, but for a friend. A dear, dear friend. Her GoFundMe page will give you all the details (link at the end of this post) but I just want to tell you a little about her. We met through work and quickly became friends. Not coworkers who are kinda friendly. Life long friends. She’s like a big sister to me which is awesome because that’s usually my role in friendships. And with my younger siblings.

Sherry is one of the most kind and loving people I have ever known. She’s just a good ol’ country girl who will bend over backwards to help one of her people. Which I why I’m asking y’all to help her.

You see, Sherry needs a double lung transplant. She’s been on the transplant list for a while now. She came close to getting her new lungs once but things went wrong – with the lungs, not her. Sadly, she’s been out of work so long while she waits that she and her partner (an awesome guy named Kevin) are now really, really struggling financially.

That’s where y’all come in. If you can spare the cash – even just a few bucks – please click this link and help her out: Sherry’s GoFundMe.

If you can’t donate, maybe send up some prayers. Those help just as much as money.

Thanks y’all!

Blessings and love,

~Elise


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I am sad.

I’m sad today. I’ve been sad for few days in fact. Nothing terrible happened. I’m not sinking down into a depression. (I hope not.) I’m just sad.

Last year, there was a big horse show in town and I drove out to the fairgrounds where the show is held and tracked down all my old friends that were there for the show. I spent as much time as I could with them. Which included lots of standing on concrete. And standing next to arenas. And standing outside of stalls. I was there for several hours all while I pushed away the warning bells my body was sounding. By the time I slipped away and walked back out to my car I was shaking with pain.

I didn’t reach out to them this year. Last year reminded me why I left that world behind. My back, knees, and feet can’t take prolonged periods of standing. I know, I could take a chair with me. Or try to meet them for dinner instead. The thing is, I miss that world. I miss spending a weekend at the horse show. I miss sitting on my horse with a group of friends visiting before a class. I miss standing in groups discussing patterns for upcoming classes, the newest horse show fashions, and all that. I miss it. Desperately. But I just don’t fit into that world anymore. I haven’t shown a horse in six years. I walked away from that world and while I was gone it changed. I am a stranger to it all now.

And that makes me sad.

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The best of times. Hanging out at a horse show in college. (I’m next to the guy in the light colored jacket.)

Back when I was showing the most I was taking narcotic pain killers to make it through two days of showing. I was wrecking both my joints and my liver. A doctor made me open my eyes and see what I was doing. I could have kept going for a few more years and put my long term health at a major risk. Or I could have stopped and moved on to other passions and kept my health. I made the right choice and it has allowed me to get better control over my Rheumatoid Arthritis than I have ever had.

That’s the thing with a chronic illness. You are often faced with choices that require a great sacrifice. I gave up my lifelong love of competing with my horses to get control of my health. And those great friendships with my horsey friends were the price I paid.

It is a price I wish I hadn’t paid. And that makes me sad.

~Elise

PS. I’m fine, I swear. I’m not having a pity party or anything. I’m just being honest. This is my life. And this is a choice I made. It was a good choice that sadly came with a less than good cost. That’s life. We’ll all face something similar one day.

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I am blessed to have had those horse show friends. They will always be so, so special to me.


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Arthritis Awareness Month

May is Arthritis Awareness Month. If you’ve been reading this blog for a while you know that normally I spend the month working to raise awareness via my words and personal experiences. I have totally slacked off this year though. And I’m sorry for that.

I don’t have any excuses. Nothing major happened in my world. It has just been a rough month.

I’m working on my second novel right now. And for a while it was flowing great. Suddenly though I lost my focus. I feel like I’ve forgotten where I was going and what sort of message I was trying to tell. It was supposed to be a story about forgiveness. I got off track somewhere. I’m trying to get back into gear but my brain isn’t working. Normally when I’m stuck on my writing, reading helps me refocus. But lately nothing I read grips me and now I have a stack of started and not finished books. Hopefully I’ll get back to them. Right now though I need some fiction that will just pull me in and let my brain relax enough to slip back into storytelling mode. I’m trying Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance next. Fingers crossed that it will work.

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We got distracted on the way to pick up K’s kids and ended up with matching tattoos.

I’ve also been struggling with some depression this month. That usually goes hand in hand with writing struggles. When you add off and on Rheumatoid Arthritis flares (thank you bipolar Texas weather) you get a funk that just clings to you. I slipped down to the Fort Worth area for a weekend with my best friend, K. The fun we had boosted me some but I’m still feeling dragged down. I was hoping to get some time with some close friends that don’t live 6 hours away but pretty much everyone is too busy with their own lives and hobbies. So I’ve been trying to boost myself up but it isn’t working.

When it comes down to it, I’m just tired. I’m tired of working all day in a job where, frankly, I have no future. I’m tired of putting in time in said job and then being too worn out to properly focus on my writing. I’m tired of having so much to do on the weekends – mostly chores around my property – that I can’t spend the weekend writing. I’m tired of the RA pain brain fog making it too hard to focus on writing – and making it too hard to even focus on reading a book. I am physically and mentally and emotionally exhausted.

I’m trying super hard to not complain. All my problems are nothing compared to what others go through. I’m praying things will change for the better soon. I’m working on getting myself set up to do freelance work in the hopes that I’ll be able to pay my bills with a combo of freelancing and writing someday soon. I’m keeping my focus on the Lord and trying to be who He wants me to be.

I guess you can consider this my big awareness post. When you’re battling a chronic illness day after day it is really easy to get overwhelmed by everything going on in your life. So be patient with people. And be kind. Life overwhelms everyone sooner or later. It is just harder to deal with it when your body is a dysfunctional cry baby.