writer elise

I'm Elise. I write. Because I must.


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Overwhelmed

Y’all I am overwhelmed. In a big way. Which totally explains why I’ve been ignoring this blog and all my lovely followers. If I still have any. Y’all are still there right? I’m pretending everyone just shouted yes.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah. I’ve got too much on my plate these days. Which I think it totally normal in this world. I can only speak for myself though so I’m saying it isn’t normal. I don’t like feeling like I’m drowning in life. But I do. And it sucks.

I’ve got a to do list that would choke a horse. My dad is facing heart surgery in a month so I’m trying to be a rock for him and my mom. I’m trying to be supportive for various friends as they struggle with life stuff. On top of that I’ve got new duties at work, volunteer work with both my church and The Arthritis Foundation, one book to market, a second book (out August 1st!) to prepare to market, a third book to write, a newbie writer to mentor, animals to take care of, a house to prep for sale (hopefully in a year but I’m starting now), and… well the list just goes on from there.

I know I’m overdoing it. I know I’m right at the edge of my own limits and that if something doesn’t change or get crossed off my list I’m going to break.

I am empty.

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I’ve seriously got nothing left to give anyone else.

So I’m going to start being selfish. I’m going to save myself. Friends will need to learn to prop themselves up without my cheerleading. Okay, I’ll still be there for them but I’m going to start turning off my phone each evening and saving that time for myself. I’m going to go through my monster to-do list and turn everything I can over to someone else. I’m also going to look at author marketing services and see about hiring someone to handle book promotion for me. My sales have been terrible so clearly my efforts aren’t working.

I’m going to watch more sunsets with my animals.

I’m going to have more dinners with my friends.

I’m going to write more and Facebook less.

I’m going to take better care of me.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed too I encourage you to do the same. Simplify. I’ve already starting working on this and it really helps. I don’t miss the things I’ve let go of. Instead I feel more free and more me.

Hugs, love, and blessings to each and every one of you.

~Elise


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Forgiveness

Forgiving is something everyone struggles with. I know I’ve battled with it for most of my life. As a child I was told over and over that it was the Christian thing to forgive and forget. I never could quite do that with some of the larger offenses I’ve faced. And I always felt guilty for that. Like I wasn’t trying enough. Like I wasn’t being a good Christian. Like I was failing at some moral requirement.

Yesterday my preacher took that concept head on. And lifted that guilt off my shoulders. He told us what forgiveness was not. And then told us what it was.

“Forgiveness is giving up the right to seek retribution.”

I love that. Forgiveness isn’t forgetting what someone did to you or said to you. It is about letting go of what you feel like you need to do to get back at them.

“Forgiveness doesn’t excuse their behavior. Forgiveness prevents their behavior from destroying your heart.”

That was the one that really hit home for me. I had always felt that to forgive and forget I had to someone accept that the hurt done to me was okay and excusable. I understand now that I don’t have to forget it. I don’t have to rationalize what they did and make it okay. I just have to forgive it and let it go. Forgiveness is more for me and my heart than it is for the person who hurt me.

So today I’m forgiving some old hurts. To that girl whose lies cost me several friendships – I forgive you. To the family member¬†who said those cruel things – I forgive you. To the woman who used her advice to chip away at my dreams – I forgive you. To the people who have thought poorly about me without really knowing me – I forgive you.

I’m sure¬†that none of these people think they were in the wrong. I’m sure that they don’t think their words and actions were hurtful. I’m sure they don’t think they need to say sorry or seek forgiveness. But they’re forgiven just the same. Because holding on to how they hurt me only allows them to keep hurting me. I won’t forget the hurt. But I will forgive it. And let it go.

~Elise